Tag Archives: birthday

Double Figures

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Yesterday my baby turned 10.      I just can’t believe he is now into double figures.

I remember the day he was born quite vividly.   He was an elected section, because of the problems M had when he was born.      However, despite being first on the list for the day, they decided to make me have a natural birth.   Needless to say, my blood pressure went array as with M, and I was taken to theatre for a section in the evening and he was born at 9:02pm.      When he came out, there was much relief he was a boy, because I had been given a scan a week before because of my BP problems, and all I remember seeing was hair.    Yes, he had so much hair that it was visible on the scan.   This made me think he would be a girl, despite being confident throughout the pregnancy I was having a boy!      I would have loved whichever sex my baby had been, but I had made up my mind for a second boy!      It was therefore great that my hairy baby was male.

He has grown into a beautiful person.   He has a kind heart, and would do anything to help others.

He does though have a side he doesn’t like showing the wold, but it is one that we see regularly at home.   The side of him when he lets go of his restraints of holding everything together, and he just lets rip.    It is of course not unusual for a person with aspergers to behave in this way.       It is as if he has multiple personalities.      Whenever I talk to the school, I hear about how quiet and reserved he is – at parents evening this week, the one negative his teacher spoke about was his lack of confidence to put himself forward and put his hand up.     But we know a very different boy.     We know the boy who gets upset when he isn’t perfect at everything he does.      The boy who screams and yells at those around him because he has a days frustration that has been bubbling up inside and needs to release.     The boy who is controlling to his brother because he doesn’t get his less forceful personality.       We also see the child who still needs Mummy hugs when he’s not feeling well, and he has had more than his fair share of illness recently.      The child who stands up to his friends when they don’t understand M’s flapping and ask him to stop, because nobody criticizes his brother apart from him.     We see the vulnerable child who hates conflict between his friends – although its fine when its sibling conflict!      We see the child who will stand up for his friends when they are bullied, but will not speak out when it is happening to him.      The child that adore his cats to the point of obsession.      The child who still believes in Santa and the tooth fairy, and not understanding why some of his peers are questioning their existence.        He is a very complex human being.      He is different people depending on his environment.     However the one thing that always shines through is his good heart.      I may be biased, okay, I know I am biased when I say he is a lovely person, but I believe he is.

The Nonagenarian

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Last Friday was a big day in our house, because my Mum turned 90 years old.       It is a grand old age, and despite her enjoyment of moaning, she is in good mental health, even if her body causes her problems.

Hubby and I had been thinking what to do for the day, and were at a loss to know what she would enjoy.      What do you do for an old lady who has no friends in the area, and no connections outside of the house?     Also what do you buy for someone of that advanced age that they will actually use?

The boys were involved in trying to come up with ideas, but I don’t think she would have enjoyed going to soft play or the arcade!        They did however ask if they could have the day off school.        I said yes, because I think it is hugely important that the younger generations interact with the older ones.       I was the same age as D is now when the only Grandparent I knew died, and when I heard other kids talking about things they had done with theirs, I was jealous.    I therefore think to have a day when the boys made a special effort to spend time with and look after their Granny was something that will stay with them.      I put notes to both teachers and it was accepted they would be off that day.

The date of her birthday was also the date of the MacMillian coffee morning.     I have done a coffee morning for the past few years, it is a great excuse for the Mums to get together for a cuppa and a gossip, all under the excuse we are doing our bit for charity.      I however decided that having the event on a day when it needed to be about my Mum was wrong.     I did however think it would be nice to have a few of the ladies she knows come in and see her.

The plans for the day were set!

A huge pile of cards had arrived in the post the few days before, and I had put them to one side so she could have them all on Friday.

Hubby had changed his working from home day to Friday, so he could be part of the celebrations.

The boys were up usual time, but were persuaded to let Granny have a bit of a lay in, after all, it must be tiring to turn 90!     Eventually, D could wait no more, and made her a cup of tea which he took up to her with a biscuit – he had wanted to make her bacon and eggs, but she doesn’t like breakfast in bed as she thinks its like being in hospital!

When she came down, the boys were so excited, and had to be reminded to give a bit of space, both physically and mentally!        Before she could get settled, D pinned a badge onto her announcing her age!      They helped her open her presents and cards.       We had given her a heat pad that goes around her shoulders like a cape, fastening at the front – she has a stiff shoulder and is always cold so seemed a sensible present.    We also gave her a stand for her tablet.     She maybe 90 now, but she loves playing games on her tablet, however with her hands suffering with arthritis, she sometimes has difficulty holding it for long, and her toes are getting sore from every time she drops it on them!     The stand is brilliant, it is like a microphone stand but the tablet clips into the top and can be adjusted by height and angle.     I think she will find this a great help.     She also had the obligatory PJ’s and socks – no gift giving celebration would be complete without one other or both!!!

I had told the Mums of the boys that D walks to school with that he wouldn’t be going, and so was surprised when one of his chums turned up at the time they meet.     He said he knew D wasn’t going but wanted to wish his Granny a Happy Birthday – such a lovely gesture.     Mum was totally taken a back by the kindness and politeness of the young lad, and invited him to come back after school for some birthday cake!

The weather was beautiful – she says it always is on her birthday and actually the year she was born there was a heatwave at this time of year!      The boys were treating her to lunch and so we decided to go down to Stonehaven and have a walk along the front to enjoy the fresh air first.         We left Hubby at home working.

D insisted on pushing her, but had to be reminded to stop running on a few occasions – she looked petrified!      It was lovely seeing the boys chatting with her, and just taking the time to interact with her – lets face it, in a usual day everyone is so busy with their own stuff they do sometimes forget to step back and just be with people.       As the weather was so lovely, it was decided to get something we could eat by the beach, and so it was Subway that the boys chose – to some that might not seem a very special food, but the boys were paying and they knew Granny liked it.       She was more than happy with that idea.          We sat looking out to sea – the view across the bay at Stonehaven is beautiful.        The boys were really attentive while we ate.

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The boys then wanted to go to the sweetie shop near where we had parked to buy Granny some clove rock – her favourite.       It was then time to head back home.

When we got back some of the ladies had already arrived, and I think it was a bit of a shock to Mum to see them there, all wishing her a Happy Birthday.    The boys went and had some down time while they could.     The ladies were really kind to her, giving her cards and flowers and sweeties.      Our next door neighbour popped in, and Hubbys Mum came over.     Hubbys Mum had bought her a subscription to the magazine that she reads each week, which is really a perfect present.     We all drank coffee and ate cake and nattered for a couple of hours – until school run time when kids need to be collected.

A couple of D’s friends popped in after school to wish her a Happy Birthday – and to get cake!      Whatever their motivation, it does show that not all of the younger generation is thoughtless.

Hubbys Mum stayed for tea.    We had thought about going out, but Mum isn’t the biggest eater, so it isn’t really the best option, so instead we ordered curry, which is her favourite take-away – I think because you can pick at various bits rather than have a plate full of the one thing.      It was a lovely chilled evening, and the boys even let her choose which movie to put on – Friday night is always movie night in our house – she chose The Minion movie as its her favourite one of the boys DVDs!

When she went up to bed, she thanked us for a lovely day, and I think she had genuinely enjoyed herself.    It had been lovely to see how attentive the boys were with her, and I am glad they had stayed home from school.  D did however tell her not to expect the same level of devotion until her 100th! It was also kind of my friends to make her feel special during the afternoon.

If we are lucky, we will get to this grand old age, but it is not a definite so it is a time to celebrate.

Groundhog Day or Dads birthday

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IMG_20130616_162735Today would have been my Dads birthday.   He would have been 86, if he were still with us.

I think about my Dad most days, usually quite subconsciously, but there are two days each year that I think about him in a more active sense, the anniversary of his death, and today, his birthday.        I don’t mean to be maudline, but instead I think about the good things.     As I imagine, with anyone who has watched a loved one diminish through the evils of cancer, you try really hard to not think about the person at the end, as that is not who my Dad was.     I, of course remember the pain and suffering that he endured, but with time those memories are put into prespective as being a minute portion of the life of someone loved.

My Dad was a small man in stature, but a huge man in personality.      You could walk into a crowded room, and hear him above all else, not because he had an overly loud voice, but because he had a booming presence.       He was the type of person that knew everyone and on the whole got on with everyone.       I grew up in the generation where when you were playing up – not of course that I did that too often, the words “wait until your father gets home!” would strike fear to the pit of your stomach.       He was never an ambitious person, but worked hard to make sure his family were well looked after.     We never had much growing up, but we were fed and clothed, and  most importantly loved.

He was made redundant when he was 60.     Instead of letting it get him down, he decided to go back to college.     He was under no illusions that at his age the chances of getting another job were remote, and so didn’t go to retrain, but to do something he had always wanted to.    He went to study philosophy.       It was the perfect subject for him, because he enjoyed a good argument – not a shouting match argument, but a debating argument, and would happily argue black was white, just to get you thinking, and for the sheer hell of it!

He would have loved the boys, and I just know that him and D would have been the best of chums.    I actually see a lot of him in D, his presence with people, and off course his argumentative personality!     I can only smile as I imagine the “discussions” they could have enjoyed, with neither of them daring to back down from their own stand point!     It is sad to think knowing him in person is something the boys have missed out on.

My Dad gave me many things in live, and I think the most important one, is my sense of fairness.   He hated injustice, maybe one of the reasons people were drawn to him.    I think this is why I am a great supporter of the under dog.      Of course, the other thing that he instilled in me, was, and is my love of Turkish delight, not the proper stuff – although I do like that, but the chocolate covered jelly block!

My Dad may not be with us in body but he is still with us in spirit, and for that I am extremely happy.