Its been a long few days.


I am shattered! Both physically and mentally exhausted, looking after my Mum.

Last week the doctor diagnosed that she had an abscess on her bum – I cant help but want to laugh everything I say that, but I know I shouldn’t.
She brightened up a little as the week progressed, but was in agony every time she moved, and not wishing to go into too much detail, the smell coming from her, as the pus sack oozed made me wretch on more than one occasion.

By Friday, she had finished the course of antibiotics, and was no better, so I called the doctor and asked for someone to come and see her. After getting him to call and speak to her, they eventually agreed to send someone out. When he saw her, he was shocked at the size of the abscess and immediately said she needed to go to the hospital, and he would arrange transport. It was a relief to see it taken seriously, but also a worry that it had festered this extra week.

I organised her overnight bag, and then the waiting game arrived. A dear friend collected the boys from school, as I didn’t want to go out and the ambulance not be able to get her. When it got to gone 4pm, I phoned the surgery to find out what was going on, and to check that the doctor had actually remembered to organise the transport. I was told that the call had been for within a 4 hour timeframe, but that was 5 1/2 hours that had passed, so she would chase them. It arrived within half an hour, and they tucked her into the bed and whisked her away. D was really worried to see his Gaga taken away in an ambulance, but he realised she had been poorly so it was for the best.
I received a phone call from the staff nurse on the ward a while later to say that she had been seen by the surgeon and he wanted to operate as soon as possible because of the size of it. We therefore decided not to go in that evening, as she would have been out of it.

Saturday morning the phone rings at 7am – luckily the boys had already been up over an hour by then, and it was an update from the ward. They had operated the evening before and they were happy they had removed all of the problem, but they would be keeping her in a couple of days to make sure it was clean and they had got it all.

I went into see her that evening – I don’t think it is an environment for children, and especially not 2 ASD boys who would either be bored instantly or looking at everything and likely to switch off someones machine!!! She looked so much better, as she had a little colour in her cheeks, but she looked tiny, and old. She said the antibiotics they were giving her were making her light-headed, but if she coped with them overnight, they would set her free the next day. She certainly seemed in good spirits.

Sunday morning I got a text from her to say the boss had been round and was releasing her. He told her that what they had removed was the size of a baked potato, but it was nothing more than an abscess – obviously they were concerned it could have been cancerous. I therefore got together her coming home clothes and went for her just after lunchtime.

She was sitting out of bed but looked in pain. She said it wasn’t her bum, but her hip. She had been walking to the loo, which was across the corridor and it had just given out. It was lucky she was near her bed, and she had grabbed hold of it to stop herself going over. She said it had made a horrific cracking sound and then she had shooting pains. The staff on the ward weren’t concerned about it, but did supply her with a wheelchair to get to the car. As she went to put weight on it, it just gave way. I got her home, and with a bit of a struggle got her to her bed. She was in pain trying to swing her legs up to get in, but with some help we got her tucked up.

She was up to the loo a couple of times in the night, and luckily our passage has a rail along it so she had something to hold onto, but I was still out to see she was ok.   the pain on her face was obvious.

This morning we had to phone the surgery, to get a nurse out to change her dressing, and to ask for a doctor to come and look at her hip. Trying to get someone out was like pulling teeth. The nurse queried if the dressing needed changing today, although the hospital had said it needed doing daily because of where it was, and the doctor didn’t see the need to call, but with some persuasion agreed to pop in.

The doctor was the first to arrive. She believes that possibly during the op on Friday night they jarred the hip, and that’s why it’s so painful. She has therefore prescribed her some much stronger painkiller. She has told her she needs to move about as much as possible, and I don’t think she really got how much pain there is. They will get a zimmer frame and a commode to use until she is fully mobile again. Hopefully once the painkillers kick in she might feel more confident to try to move, but I’m not going to force her, unless she feels ready. The nurse then arrived and changed the dressing. She said they didn’t have a commode available but if they could locate one they would bring it over, and that a request had been sent to OT for the zimmer, but that might take a while before they get out to her.

She isn’t happy they aren’t taking her pain overly seriously. I think she thought they would take her back in, and she would shift up the waiting list for her realignment! We will see if the new painkillers do anything, or if I will be having another argument to get someone out to her in a few days. Tomorrow is her birthday, but I’m not sure it’s going to be celebrated until she is feeling a little more up to life.


2 responses »

  1. I feel kind of bad “liking” this post, because I can just imagine how distressing and exhausting this time must be for you and for your family. Taking care of aging parents is no picnic, and I give you TONS of credit for having your mother in your home. Thinking of you! -Amy

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