Yesterday was mine and Hubbys wedding anniversary as he wrote about – https://jas2jar.wordpress.com/2014/02/20/anniversary-time/ We had a lovely day out, and one of the few times during the year when we have the day to ourselves. We long ago gave up trying to go out in the evening, as neither boy will settle for anyone, including the Old people – lets face the truth, we have enough problems getting D into bed, let alone getting him to stay there. It is one of the joys of being a parent of 2 boys on the spectrum, you soon learn the things you can’t do as well as those you have to!
Anyway, as usual, I digress.
When Hubby and I got together all those years ago, we had such different lives that it seems hard to imagine them now. I think we all have dreams of how things will be, but they rarely are that way, and you muddle along. It’s then on this one day a year, that you reflect on what you as a couple have achieved during that time.
Hubby and I met on the internet. These days, there is nothing unusual about that, but 12 years ago, it was a different story. We were both on a Star Trek forum, and started chatting. We both were Sci-Fi nerds, and had a love of things Canadian, especially Toronto, so we had a lot in common that meant we soon “chatted” online on a regular basis. The one problem was, we lived over 500 miles apart, so neither of us assumed we would ever become more than online buddies. We were soon communicating every day, and eventually we had exchanged phoned number and talked for endless hours on the phone – one of my worries before we spoke for the first time was if I would understand his accent, there was no problem there as he has a very gentle one. I suppose the one good thing about starting a relationship without any physical contact is that you actually spend time getting to know each other. We soon realised there was something between us, and decided we either needed to move it forward or end it before it became too difficult. It was a no brainer. We had talked about our future together, and the name of our first-born before we had actually met face to face. We never actually mentioned getting married openly, but we talked about “the question”, and this became butter or margarine – there was an advert around that time about if you preferred one or the other, – or the Flora question!
The day arrived for him to fly down to London to meet me – 3 days after my birthday, as he couldn’t miss the first game of the season. I was SO nervous. All types of negative thoughts go through your mind as you wait in the terminal for the plane to land. We just clicked though. We were good friends by this point, and it was just a case of where we were going with it. The next day, he produced a ring, and we got engaged. When he went back home I was devastated. A few weeks later I came to Aberdeen to meet his Mum – the frosty reception I got as I went to hug her should have warned me about the relationship we were going to have!
We had a few more visits up and down the country before we decided a long distant relationship wasn’t going to work – it was too expensive if nothing else!! I handed in my notice, and called Hubby to say I was putting my house on the market! The decision was made, and it was just a case of making it happen.
Hubby viewed several houses, and eventually found one he knew I would like – we still live here, and I am still trying to do it up! I packed up my house, and my mother – who we shipped off to my brothers who was a half way point, just before the removal men arrived, and then I was off!
Hubby came down and we had a VERY full car for the trek up the country. Hubby was too scared to drive on the M25 so I took the first part of the journey despite being in floods of tears as I said goodbye to my old life.
We picked up Old Person en route, and two days later arrived at our new home and new life together.
The was in the November, I started my new job in the January, and so had time to get the house sorted before the long hours kicked in!
Hubby had organised most of the wedding before I moved up. It was great to not have to do anything! I think if it had been up to us, we would have just gone off and got married and then told people, but with it just being our Mums we couldn’t do that to them, so we opted for as small as we could. It was just the Old people, Hubbys, Brother, Aunt & Uncle & Cousin, his other Aunt, then my brother, sister-in-law and there wee boy. We were married in the hotel, and then had a meal before kicking everyone out so we could get to bed – for the early flight to a very frozen Toronto! One good memory I have of that day, was that we had only been married about an hour before I over ruled my MIL. Hubbys garters were digging in, so he rolled down his socks at the dinner table – she was horrified and told him to pull them up, I told him to be comfortable!!! He did as I told him!
Well, 11 years later, he is still doing as he is told – most of the time!
If you are wondering about the title of this posting, it refers to the length of our marriage. When I agree to marry him I said forever sounded scary so we would call it 50 years, and see how we were getting on! I have said I will feed him sprouts for our 50th, so its his decision to leave!
So until sprout day, it is 11 down and 39 to go!