Counting my blessings.

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I have had a horrible couple of weeks, which I will go into another day, but it has made me step back and realise how lucky I am.

I think we all go at life at top speed that we don’t often take the time to think, let alone say how lucky we are for what we have and the people we have around us.    Maybe we all need a wake-up call every once in a while to make us remember what is important.

I have realised that I have lovely friends.     It has been great that we have been lucky to have many friends near by who have said they will walk the boys home.     It is a sign of how the boys are growing up that they are comfortably enough doing this.    M was even happy to talk about how he was feeling one morning, which is such a major break through – not just for him to impart information but to talk about his emotional state, it is a really important moment for him.

Hubby was lucky that a friend of ours made him a big, no huge bowl of milk jelly, which she bough round for the boys.    I’m not sure how much the boys were allowed but Hubby certainly seemed to enjoy it!

One of my oldest – I use the term deliberately as she is 6 months older than me, so for half the year is 1 whole year older than me –  and dearest friends sent me a lovely basket of flowers.    They are hyacinths – I am just hoping my sense of smell returns before they have faded.   They look beautiful, and nothing is more cheery than bulbs.

Even the olds have gone above and beyond what either of them have put in for a long time.    Hubbys Mum came over for a few day to collect the boys from school – it wasn’t really necessary as we had plenty of folks offering, but you can hardly say no to her actually volunteering to help.     She has of course moaned constantly about having to take 2 buses each direction, and having to hang about in the cold and the wet, and how much her back hurts her, but she made the effort.   I am sure she will dine out on doing it for ages, telling anyone who will listen what an amazing grandparent she is!    But, she helped and that was nice of her.      Old person has helped when I have not been about, but seems loathed to do anything when I am here.      She was great watching the boys when Hubby was at the hospital, and being woken at 3am to be told I was going to A&E couldn’t have been fun for her.    Hubby says she has helped with the cleaning, and that she has actually worked out how to open the dishwasher – it’s a miracle!!!     My one gripe though would be that she thinks she is helping by preparing the boys for school in the morning, but it has taken me ages to make them think for themselves with checking their bags, and sorting their shoes, only for that work to be undone – it will be a shock to the boys systems when I have them doing it themselves again!!!

My biggest blessing has to be Hubby.   He has been amazing.    He has been to work – he is very lucky that he works flexi-time, so has been able to fit his hours around the boys and my needs.   His boss has been amazing with allowing him to be at home when it has been needed – something his previous boss would never have allowed as he even threatened disciplinary action when Hubby asked for time off to see M’s first scan when I was pregnant!      Hubby has commented that he has learned a lot this past couple of weeks.   He has learned that the washing basket NEVER stays empty for more than 2 minutes.    He has learned that you can not put anything blocking the cleaner in the cupboard as it needs to come out daily.     He has learned that cooking is all about timing.       He has asked me to teach him how to cook when I feel better, as he is only comfortable with pasta and casserole – I think the boys will see this as worth doing should I ever have to go away again as I think they have got board with sausages!!!!  I think he has realised that my life isn’t all feet up and kettle on!

I know this past couple of weeks has been really hard on the boys.   I have never had so many cuddles from M as I have since I’ve been home.    He has barely let me out of his sight.   D has been all over the place, with his behaviour becoming more challenging, but this is just that he doesn’t know how to deal with everything going on in his head.     He has been a nightmare at bedtime which really has pushed Hubbys patience, but he is aware that D isn’t doing it annoy him, but just because he doesn’t know how else to let out him emotions.      I think both boys would have coped with my initial operation time in hospital, as we had talked about it, and they were expecting it, but the re-admittance took it toll on them as they weren’t ready for it.    I wish the February midterm break was closer, as I really think I need to spend some time with the boys to make them realise I’m not abandoning them.

While, I don’t want to feel as unwell as I have been this past fortnight again, it has made me take stock of what is important.   We all take things for granted, and for me, it is the most important thing, and that is the people around me.   I am very lucky to have a wonderful Hubby, and two amazing boys.

Don’t worry, once I have finished with these strong painkillers and no longer have a fuzzy head, I will be back to my moaning self, and the mush will have gone!!!!!

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