How deep is my son?

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D has been having a rough time recently.

He is doing really well at school, and loves the work – but always wants to be doing more sums!     He did however go through a patch of name calling, which his teacher pounced on immediately.    He has then been in turmoil over how to help his friend from the control of another child.   He was very grown up for his age, and knew he had to do something, so after talking to me, he spoke to his teacher, and gave his friend courage to talk to the teacher.

It has been a rough few weeks for the wee man.

It is therefore no surprise that this has taken its toll on a young man who is extremely sensitive.    He has been very volatile since this all came to a head earlier this week.   The slightest little thing has had him flying off the handle.       Yesterday he refused point blank to even enter the school grounds until the bell had gone.     We haven’t come down too hard on him, as we know why his behaviour is out of control.    He has however been talked to about acceptable behaviour no matter what the provocation.

Last night though after having spent the evening screaming constantly, I had the task of trying to coax him into bed.     I think the physical expenditure of meltdown had taken its toll and he was tired, and got into bed at a reasonable time.    But then, he wanted to talk.

He often gets things into his head that he needs to have an answer about.   Now the things that go around in his head aren’t the things you would expect from your average 6-year-old.    We don’t talk about the Power Rangers, or Skylanders, no, no,no,

He wanted to know who the greatest person to ever live was, asking if it was Jesus.     We talked about the value of all people, and how it was impossible to identify one person as the greatest.    I suggested people who discover drugs that save lives are quite amazing, as are those that do selfless acts for others.

We changed topics.

How does your soul go to heaven without your body?     Deep.    I tried to explain your soul is your essence and your body is only a vessel to hold it.

He then wanted to know how my Dad had died.    I told him he had cancer which was a terrible disease which damages parts of your body and if it is not discovered in time then it can mean you die.     My Dad had bowel cancer which spread to his liver.   He doctor had told him he was just constipated for a long time when he had gone complaining of pain, so by the time it was discovered, his liver was almost totally destroyed and he dies 6 months later – I didn’t go into full details with D.

This gave natural progression to what would happen if they found the problem in time.    I explained that some parts of your body could be transplanted so you got a undiseased one.   D asked if it meant you got metal organs.     I then had to explain about organ donation, and how when some people die their body parts can be used to help others live a better quality of life.   He said he thought that was a great idea as you don’t get to take your body to heaven it may as well help other people!     He asked if I wanted to be an organ donor, and I said I had signed up to be one.       He said he wanted to be one too.   I told him it was something he could do when he grew up, and I hoped it would be a very long time before any of his organs were harvested.

He was quiet for a while before asking if Old persons false hips and knees were real from another person or metal.    I then had to explain about how arthritis had crumbled her bones and they had fitted new metal ones.    He looked very sad and asked if he would have to get that done one day because of his funny joints.      I told him that is was a strong possibility as there is a connection between hyper-mobility and arthritis.        I did think to reassure him that by the time he needs that done, medical research would have come on leaps and bounds and it probably wont be the major operations it is now.      After digesting this information he said that he might invent a laser that can mend joints, as that would mean he could be a doctor and a scientist – the two things he jumps between wanting to be when he grows up.       I told him that if he could then he would certainly be cited as one of the greatest people to have lived as it would make so many people’s lives easier!

By now it was gone 9pm, and he decided he needed the toilet.     Upon returning, he snuggled up, and was asleep really quickly.    His brain was at overload and he needed to shut down.

Sometimes, I am pulling information from the darkest crevasses of my brain to answer questions that D asks, and I know it wont belong before he is asking me things I don’t have any idea of.    In the mean time though, I will enjoy putting the world to rights with my middle-aged 6-year-old!

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4 responses »

  1. What a lovely conversation to have with your son. He is a very special person and you are a very special mum to have all that patience with him and help him come to terms with the world.

    That’s terrible with your dad. It must have been difficult for you to talk about it and bring back difficult thoughts. I would be so angry if that happened to one of my family 😦

    • He’s a lovely boy, but answering his constant questioning can get warring, especially as he needs honest answers as he will regurgitate all things given to him.

      Not angry about my Dad. One thing he thought me was deal with what life throws at you, and anger only makes you sad, its not positive.

      • Anger does make you sad and negative. Living his philosophy is the best tribute to him. Still. I would find it hard to get over that.

        I think it does sound wearing. I’ve been there with the constant questioning! I think part of constant questioning that I found difficult to deal with was underneath I felt my daughter felt insecurity at her place in the world and how it was around her, and I couldn’t help her or make her secure.

        And the lovely thing is that you have the patience with him.

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