Hallowe’en Aftermarth.

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As it turned out, the rain went off and there were plenty of children out and about last night.   I’m pleased for them as it wouldn’t have been fun in soggy costumes and running make-up.

D went out in his Dalek costume with Hubby.    He had been practising his joke, and I must say it did sound funny in his deadpan voice –

What do Daleks do it the bath?     Exfoliate! Exfoliate! 

Hands up if, 1 you didn’t read that joke in a Dalek voice, and 2, it didn’t make you laugh just a little bit!

Most of the kids that came to the door had some really good, bad jokes (if you know what I mean).    Those that annoyed me were those that stood and just held out their bags and did nothing.    M soon cottoned on to this, and as he was in charge of handing out the sweeties, he asked for their jokes, and he gave less to those that didn’t make an effort.     I am proud of him working out that the children had to do something to get something.

As the evening wore on though, M was becoming more and more agitated.    He doesn’t go out, because he just doesn’t want, and I think he feels safe when he is on his own threshold, but I do think the costumes, and people saying “hi” to him by name, was getting too much for him.       He was becoming jumpy when the door knocked and several times he actually asked children to lift their masks so he could see who it was under them – fair play to him on that one.

D did very well with his haul of goodies, and actually came home to empty his bag at one point before going back out!     He has a pumpkin bag that comes out every year, it’s not tiny, but it’s not huge.   Many of the kids, especially the older ones had massive bags, and to me that just smacked of greed!

One of the Mums who live opposite, sent a bag of sweets over for M, as she knows he wont go out, and I thought that was so kind and considerate of her.   M does feel jealous of D being able to go out, but there is no way he could put himself through it, and why should he if he is not comfortable?       The boys might fight like cat and dog, but when D finally got too cold and gave up, he tipped his ill-gotten gains onto the coffee table and then proceeded to divide them up between him and M!      That level of brotherly love is something else in my opinion.    Sharing most things is acceptable, but sharing sweets in such a grand nature it is above and beyond!

I let them choose a couple of the sweets to have, but everything else went into bowls for the weekend.      I was lucky as well, as someone had given him a Bounty bar, and I’m the only one in the house that likes them!!!!!

Once D was home, we blew out the pumpkins and shut the curtains – our door was closed!      I had judged it just about right, and only had a few sweeties left in the bowl, which of course M claimed as his because he had been in charge of it for the evening!

D was exhausted and despite a minor meltdown when told it was bedtime, was asleep instantly his head hit the pillow – not something that happens often, so maybe an hour of fresh air before bed is what he needs each night!

M on the other hand was quite jittery.     He didn’t want to settle down, and just chattered for ages, not really saying anything, just talking.    I think he just had too many sights and sounds that needed processing.    He had seen too many people, dressed wrongly and in the wrong place – M is still very much a people belong in certain places type of boy, and has often ignored friends in the supermarket because they belong in school!     Eventually he settled.     This morning however he was in vile mode.     D was being picked on, and annoyed just for the fun of it.    I am sure it is still the fall out from last night and hopefully once he has finished processing it, he will settle.

On the way to school this morning, we passed a house of an older lady I know to “good morning” with, and she came rushing out, asking if the boys had been out last night, and saying nobody had knocked at hers.    She then gave them, and their friends we walk with bags of sweeties.    All of the kids were really made up by her, and I’m pleased to say, they all said thank you.     They all chose one sweet to have at playtime!     These sweets will probably be extra special because they didn’t come at the same time as the others!   As we walked on, D said they hadn’t knocked at her house, as she didn’t have a pumpkin and the rule is, if there is no decorations people don’t want to be disturbed!

Hallowe’en is a difficult time for many children.     There is so much sensory overload that coping with it can be a nightmare, not just for the kids but for the families.     Many people put up signs asking for nobody to call because the upset the costumes and makeup can cause, and not because they are being stick in the muds.     I am lucky that both boys can cope with it in their own way.      D loves dressing up and going out and I applaud him for getting into the spirit of it, but he does get upset by some of the masks and make-up he sees.    I do wonder if he goes out so as not to come face to face with them at our door!       M on the other hand has developed his own way of getting through the evening.     This year for the first time ever, he put on a costume.      He made sure he saw who was at the door, even if it meant lifting masks to see who was under them!       He got through the evening and then needed to process it all.    It has taken it toll, but I think he did admirably.

I must say thank goodness it is only once a year.

As a foot note, I want to say, that I am not really comfortable with trick or treating.    Maybe it is because when I was growing up, it wasn’t heard of.   At Hallowe’enisn’t this something we warn our kids not to do the rest of the year?         It sits a little uncomfortably but the kids enjoy it and if it is done safely with adults monitoring where kids are and what they are doing then I suppose it is ok.

I hope everyone had a good time last night and nobody was tricked too harshly!

 

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2 responses »

  1. I really enjoyed your post, with all its descriptions and thoughts that the evening brought up.

    I liked thinking of a Dalek appearing at the door telling a Dalek joke – that’s brilliant.

    I am glad we both live in places where at least Hallowe’en is held within a trusted community. I think it must be really hard if you are living in a big town – the idea both of approaching strangers and also opening my door to strangers on a dark night – I must admit that idea makes me uncomfortable too.

    Your post reminded me that one of our local cinemas does autism friendly screenings. And that we don’t think about the everyday things that are experienced differently by people with autism.

    I think it’s remarkable that the boys are learning how to cope with things so well, by listening to their needs and working things out.

    • Thank you xx

      Our cinema also does autism friendly screenings but to be honest I think having people freely moving and higher light levels would distract the boys more. Instead we always get aisle end seats so if they need to move they can go and sit on the stairs! They also both insist on hoodies when we go so they can muffle some of the sound! Another consideration is the cost as the adjusted screenings are only £1 off where kids club is just a £1 for adults and kids so much cheaper if we do need to leave!

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