The girl (almost) next door.


D is a strange wee man.

I mean that in a positive way.

He is much like Sherk when he describes to Donkey what an ogre is.    He says that he is like an onion.   Donkey asks if he means he is smelly – a way to describe any little boy, especially D who is a mud magnet.      Shrek though, says what he means is he has many layers, and each one has to be removed to see the one below.      This is D to a tee.   He is deep and has so many different parts of himself that only a few people are allowed to see more than the safe outer skin.

It is no surprise people think they know him, because he lets himself shine as brightly as he needs to within any situation.     At school, he is a quiet boy who just gets on with.    At dancing and Jazzercise, he is lively and participating.   At home he is a total rat-bag.       He works very hard to keep his personas in the right place.    It is a coping mechanism for him.     If you keep people in their place they will react to you the way you want them to!    Nice theory, but it doesn’t always work that way, but that is something I fear he will learn as he grows up.

D is friendly to everyone who is friendly to him, and often those that aren’t      You only have to be out with him, and sooner or later someone will call him by name.     Ask him who any of them are and he’ll look totally blankly at you – he has no idea!      At school he has quite a pose of older girls.    It maybe that he looks cute and cuddly that they are drawn to him, but it is good to know there are people looking out for him.           To an outside observer, it looks like D is a boy with plenty of friends, and that is great but the reality is slightly different.

He has 2 good friends.      One boy, and one girl.    He dotes on them to an almost unhealthy level.      Luckily they both live nearby so going to play with them is easy, and both sets of parents know of his condition so know to ring me if he is getting agitated.     Like wise though their kids spend a lot of time at our house.      This school year, the 3 of them are still in the same class which is a relief for all parents involved.     D has said that he is fine with them not being on his table in class, but it helps him to know they are close by.     A very deep, grown up comment I feel.

This week was the first week back to school, and it was getting to know the new kids in the class – both in comers to the school, and ones who were in other classes last year.

It is at this that D’s compartmentalized mind became apparent, and his obsessive side came out.

Three doors down from us, is a girl who is the same age as D.    They have lived this close, their entire lives, and yet D has never spoken to her.    I often speak with the mother, but D had ignored the girl.   They were in different nursery classes, and the first year of school had different teachers.      Often we would be heading out in the morning at the same time, but say to D to say hello to the girl and he would stare at his toes rather than acknowledge her.     It was almost embarrassing, if I hadn’t understood how difficult it is for D to talk to people.

This year though, they are in the same class.   It is like someone has press a button in D’s head, because he has suddenly become obsessed with this child.    She is the centre of his universe.     I think he has a crush!

On Friday after school, he saw her on the grass area behind our houses and put his shoes on and rushed out to play with her without a second thought.     Yesterday when we got home from dancing, he didn’t want lunch, because he wanted to go and knock for her – alas she wasn’t home.      Today, he went to knock for her, and I haven’t seen him for the past two hours – peace in our time!

This girl has become his everything to the point he has not thought of going and knocking for either of his other friends.       I think its great if he is widening his circle of friends, even one at a time.    I do however worry how he will cope if they tell him to back off when he is becoming smothering.

For now though, I will let him enjoy the throes of a new friendship, with the girl almost next door!


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