Well, what can I say?
I was doing so well and getting my head and body in the right place, and then the holidays hit us!
When we were away, I did eat VERY badly, or was that very well. Even though we stay self-catering, I refuse to cook more than a few rounds of toast – after all, it is my holiday too, and being stuck in the kitchen just wouldn’t be too relaxing! We therefore had a lot of take-aways, and generally pigged out!
When we got home, the boys were of course still off for another 4 weeks. We ate properly, but it isn’t always possible to eat really correctly when you’re out and about, and ice-creams need to be eaten!
I put my hand up and say, I have not cared about it. I was not going to let me fussing about food put a downer on the fun times I’ve had with the boys. Now, don’t misunderstand. I haven’t totally thrown caution to the wind. I have enjoyed what I’ve eaten, and I think that is important. I spent too many years fretting about everything that went into my mouth, which is why I was a binge eater. I think however with the better eating I had been doing, I have actually learned when to say I’ve had enough. That’s something I’ve never been able to do in the past – an open packet of biscuits was an empty one very quickly. I think this is a really important break through for me. It might sound nothing to you guys that have always had self-control, but for those of us that often feel life is going on about you and you don’t control what is happening to you, what goes in your mouth becomes a tool of self believe. It is something I do for me, and nobody can control it. It’s hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced it, but food becomes a tool of self-worth. I imagine this is how it begins for people who suffer with eating disorders, it just gets out of control.
So I now have the beginnings of self-control. Way to go me!
I therefore put on a few pounds while we were away, and I admit, I haven’t lost them since we came back, but I haven’t put on anymore. I just think, if I hadn’t lost the weight before hand, it would have been more of a problem than now, when I know I can do it! I will need to knock these extra pounds on the head before chipping away at the rest of it.
The other thing I didn’t do over the children’s holidays, was dedicated exercise. Now, I might say, that running around after these two monsters is quite a cardiovascular workout, but it isn’t really enough. Who’d have thought that I would say, I need to exercise? It sounds really strange from this life long couch potato, but I have missed my morning sessions with my wii-fit board!
Yesterday, the boys went back to school. The day was spent cleaning and tidying, and then dare I say it, going out to lunch with Hubby! It was the last treat before getting our heads back in the right place to lose a few more pounds before – dare I say the “C” word? No? Well you know what I mean about that time towards the end of December!
Today then, I dusted off my food diary app – http://www.myfitnesspal.com/, and decided to get my head into gear. I have found recording all I eat a great way of making sure I’m actually aware of what is going into my mouth.
I did a short session on the fit board. I have to work my way back up steadily, rather than going full throttle and putting myself off. I really enjoyed it and felt quite buzzed afterwards. It felt good to get the heart pumping!
So, I’m back to it, and I know it wont take me long to totally get my head right for making my body respond!!