Birthday parties are never straight forward with my boys.
M rarely gets invited to parties. He doesn’t have too many friends. I might go as far as to say he as a few acquaintances that he likes, but as he doesn’t really understand the concept of friendship, he never lets them really cross the line with him. It is always on his terms, and lets face it, kids don’t get a child that cuts them dead suddenly for no obvious reason. The reason is obvious to M though, and that is that he has had enough of the social engagement and has decided it ends. There is no wind down, that we learn to do and therefore expect from others. Most people M encounters don’t get this. Some are grown-up enough to ask me why he does things, and others have just known him for long enough that the just know he’s not being nasty by just blanking them. Others though do take offence and he has ended up in scapes as a result.
D on the other hand has a small very tight social group. He is friendly with a lot of people, but friends with just a few – a trait I share with him. He therefore gets the invites to parties that everyone goes to, but rarely to the ones that just involve a select few unless its his pose and then he’s there. D’s spilt personality is so separate, even his close buddys have rarely seen his alter ego when he let’s go of his controlled emotions. I know it is quite funny (as in strange and not haha) when other Mums who know of D’s condition actually see him lose it. They are totally shocked that the mild-mannered little man could be so physically and verbally violent. It is something that has to be witnessed to be understood.
Well, yesterday they both went to a party. It was a birthday party of one of D’s friends who lives in the same street as us. His sister is in M’s class, and I would say one of the people who tolerate his behaviour. They have grown up together and so know each other as well as kids can. The Mum is aware of both boys conditions and therefore quite understanding to their needs. It was a home party they were having, which can be fraught with potential problems if the household isn’t aware of what might happen if M isn’t stimulated of D isn’t engaged.
The boys spent the day asking if it was time to go. It was a 4.30pm start! They bathed and dressed and I must say looked very handsome in their smart clothes. It is literally a minutes walk to get there, but D was very worried. He wanted someone to stay with him. This is despite knowing the Mum really well, and knowing he just has to say to her he wants to come home if he gets upset. He went on and on about me staying with him, so in the end, I made Hubby take them down the road, so it wasn’t an option.
Two hours later, Hubby went back for them. If he had any sense he’d have just said to send them back up, but didn’t think of it when he dropped them off! He was very proud though to hear both boys say thank you to both the birthday boy and his Mum when they left. It is sad to comment on that, but you hear so few kids remember how important manners to the point that at one party D went to, the Mum actually said of the 20 kids there, D was the only one to say thank-you!
Well, I have never heard such chatter and excitement from the boys! M said it had been the best party he had ever been to. M doesn’t lie when he makes a statement of fact. The party had involved having a bug man there. What is a bug man I hear you cry? It was a man showing the kids animals and insects. The boys were so excited that they had handled a giant snail. I wasn’t surprised at D being up for holding it, but was pleasantly shocked that M had been up for it. They talked over each other for a good half hour as they spoke of the animals they had seen and touched, D said it was a good job I hadn’t stayed as there was a tarantula – but they hadn’t touched it! Enough said for me!
What a brilliant idea for a party, to have something to engage the children’s minds rather than just random games. Both my boys were in their element as anything to do with nature is a big plus in their worlds.
M was still buzzing when it came to bedtime. He might not get invited to many parties, but one as brilliant as this is enough to boost him for a while.