Half way point.

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We have made it to the half way point of the school holidays.

We have to be thankful to have made it this far without too many major incidents.

The holidays are now beginning to take their toll on everyone, especially M whose behaviour is deteriorating rapidly.

The first week and a half were good, as we were away and therefore busy.     Neither boy had time to be too fractious with each other.    They had plenty of fresh air and exercise and that meant they were tired enough to sleep well.     A winning combination.

Then this last week, we have started the slippery slope of holiday boredom.       The weather taking a turn for the worst hasn’t been helpful as it has meant we have had to be doing things indoors, and on the whole that has meant in the house, as going out to do things inside ends up very expensive.        I have tried my best to keep them occupied as we play games, do crafts, and I also get them to help with household tasks.      They have also had their downtime and we have watched plenty of movies.       It is a hard-line to walk, the one that says keep them busy but remember they are on holiday so need some freedom to relax.

M in particular finds it difficult to comprehend the lack of routine.     It confuses him greatly.   He likes his routine, no, he needs routine.    Routine keeps him focused.    It helps his brain to function when he understands what way the day is going to pan out.      Change is really not good for him as he finds processing random information hard going and this is when his behaviour becomes unacceptable.         Yesterday he wanted to play with D’s tablet, and rather than ask to do so, just bite D to get it away from him.       This is a new behaviour for M as we’ve never had a problem with him biting before.    Once D loosened his grip on the tablet through the shock of being bitten M was away with it.    When confronted, he threatened to throw it and break it.       Needless to say it was removed from him, and luckily undamaged.     He though had no comprehension that he had done anything wrong.   When spoken to about the incident he got very aggressive in his tone with an attitude that said he believed he was the wronged party!      He went to bed last night loosing his television allowance.        The easiest way to describe his general behaviour just now, would be to liken it to that of a teenager.    He is stroppy, and cant speak without sneering and giving a lot of back chat.    I wasn’t wanting to have to deal with teenage tantrums for another few years!      I dread to think how bad they will be then compared to now.    I imagine by the time we get those, I will have been used to his slippery slope of bad behaviour.

D is just very grumpy, and needs to be handled with kid gloves, so really there is nothing too different with his behaviour.

We will try our best to get through the next three weeks without actually killing each other!     The boys have to learn what is and isn’t allowed in society.    It is my job to make sure that bad behaviours are kept to a minimum.     Biting his brother is bad enough, but should he do it to another child would be terrible.    He has to understand that society doesn’t allow him to do these sort of things.     We are lucky that D so far can contain himself when out of the house, so we need to keep making sure that continues.

Oh well, half way gone, roll on 20 August!

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9 responses »

  1. my son (10) has autism (middle spectrum), and he is the same, he needs some sort of idea of what will happen next etc. I try and give him times for things we are definatly doing, even if it is just “we are going to the shop at 2pm”, and i find that helps as then even though we are out of routine, he still can check the clock and know what is coming up. Hope you enjoy the rest of your holidays!

    • I am so with you on that. We have a wall in the kitchen painted with blackboard paint where we write the calendar for the week, so they can see where and when things will be happening. It helps to a point.

    • I got it in Home base, but I’m sure you can get it in most DIY stores. It was about £10 for a tin which did a couple of good coats and I used less than half of it, so has been great for touching up.

      • Ooh well i dont live far from homebase and will keep an eye out for it, am decorating bit by bit the whole house this year, so perfect timing for a tip like that! 🙂

      • I hope you can locate some as its a great product, and does help for making a visual representation. I get the boys to help me to write up each week, so they can start to get their heads into the right place for each task on our list.

  2. Hang in there. Once we learned my younger son was autistic, I told my husband he’d better back me up on all the discipline issues. I knew my son was going to be big and broad like my father. I told my husband if we didn’t want my son stealing cars when he was 16, we had to make him respect rules and boundaries early on. My son is now 14, and I am sooooo happy we managed to make as much progress with him as we did. He gets uppity, and if his routine is disrupted bad things can happen, but in general he’s a good kid.

    • That sounds really positive. I sometimes wonder if I’m the only one thinking they need to learn how to act in society when we encounter so many parents of autistic kids who think they can do whatever they like and use their condition as an excuse. I believe our role as parents is to help them function in a society that doesn’t really understand them and that means teaching them what is and isn’t acceptable.

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