As Mums our job is to nurture and protect our babies to allow them to become the people they are capable of being. However, most of the time our kids see us as nagging moaning machines that try to take away all of their fun!
I have learned that the easiest way for them to learn when they aren’t listening is to let them do something that might give them a fright. After all experience is a better teacher.
M as a toddler was fascinated by the radiators. We would be constantly saying to him that they are hot. He of course wasnt processing that, just that they made him feel comfortable with the warmth coming off them. We stopped him numerous times from touching them, but still he continued to try, until one day I wasnt quick enough, and screams persuade as he got a fright by the heat. It wasnt hot enough to hurt him – if it had of been it would have been cordend off, but it was enough for him to learn when grown ups say things there is a reason.
D has a mind of his own, and at six years old believes he knows everything. He rarely listens when given warnings, and still has to be held tight when near roads or he would happily meander across them without fear of the potential consequences.
One of the roads we walk to school along has a row of open plan gardens, some have just a tiny wall, and the boys love to jump over these. They are told every day not to go into people’s gardens, but they choose not to hear – I am hoping one day a big burly man comes out of one of the houses and just looks at them, as I’m sure it would scare the life out of them (my boys aren’t the only kids that do this by the way.)! Last night walking home from the school disco with his Dad, D decided he was going to jump the walls. Bad idea! His legs were tired as was the rest of him after a full day at school, and then an hour boogeying so he wasnt able to go over them and instead went splat.
I was greeted by a sobbing boy with blood all over his mouth and nose. He could barely get his breath he was crying so hard. I sat him down and we did some breathing exercises to help calm him down, as I was feared he was going to throw up. Once I had cleaned the blood from his face, I could see a nasty graze and cut on his philtrum (the bit between his nose and mouth). I dabbed it clean, but didn’t intrude too much. He said his teeth were ok, so I left poking about in his mouth until later.
He managed some tea, but it looked hard work for him, luckily it was fish pie, so no real chewing involved!
At bedtime I asked to look inside his mouth and the whole of the inside of his top lip is a mass of blood blisters, but his teeth look fine – it would have been sad to damage them now they have grown in nicely! I will keep an eye on this to make sure they don’t become ulcers. He had some painkillers, and lots of cuddles before bedtime. He managed to sleep.
This morning his teddy was on the floor having fallen out of bed last night, and he said Willie Bear couldn’t go to school today (he normally takes him on Friday for their choose time) as he had also hurt his face. I thought he was angling for a day off school, but he just asked that I put a note in his communications book to explain what had happened. I think he is worried about hurting it when he gets changed for gym. I also had a word with his teacher as he is still a little grizzly.
He looks very strange with a big swollen lip, but he is very lucky he didn’t do a lot more damage to himself. I have had the “I told you so” conversation with him, explaining that sometimes when he thinks Mummy is being mean it is to protect him, but he is a 6-year-old boy and rough and tumble is just part of life. If they didn’t get bashed and bruised every now and again there would be something wrong.
When walking to school this morning he demanded we went a different way as he NEVER wants to see those walls again! Well, I’m sure that is until the next time!!!
Hopeful he has learned a life lesson, but I’m not holding my breath!