I sometimes wonder if I ever have a full adult conversation. I spend a lot of time with the children, as while we have always made a conscious effort to talk to them rather than down to them, you can’t exactly discuss the events going on around the world or anything more important than have we seen this episode of Garfield more than 20 times! The old persons idea of conversation is if somebody won something on a quiz show she had watched that was probably filmed 25 years ago, or the goings on in Emmerdale – I lost track of all soaps when the boys came along, as soap time is also putting to bed time. Hubby and I tend to speak in passing rather than talk. When he gets home from work, the boys are craving his attention, and then when they are in bed he is too tired, and the two of us tend to sit in front of the telly, both doing stuff on our tablets, so conversation doesn’t happen. They do say you have to be perfectly comfortable in some bodies company to not communicate while together, so I suppose that’s the silver lining in that one!
So as you see, I don’t actually par take in conversation very much. I talk to the DJ’s on the radio, if that counts! No? Oh well.
I had moan about the fact there was no facility for Mums ( and Dads) to get together. The local NAS doesnt operate in our part of the county so no help there. Our town has no centre so unless you go to the supermarket cafe or the greasy spoon, there is no meeting up place. The church runs weekly coffee mornings in the hall, but they tend to be frequented by the older generation.
When the school picked up on my moans, they said they could release am area, one afternoon a month for parents/carers to have a coffee and a chat. It was great that the school were giving over the area.
The first afternoon was last month, and I had M home from school, so I was unable to attend, but I went along yesterday.
I have to admit it was with some trepidation that I entered the building – they had opened a side door, so parents could come and go as they pleased without disturbing anyone and so they weren’t being monitored. There was one other Mum there, as well as a teacher, who had stayed to keep her company. The Mum threw me off guard to start with, as she recognised me as M’s Mum, and yet I had no idea who she was!!! In my defence I have to say I am terrible with names, I can usually remember names and faces, but ask me to put the 2 together and I’m well and truly stumped. This is why I call most people dear or darling!
She asked how M was getting on in the other class, as her daughter – who is in M’s previous class, had been upset when M was moved. I talked about the boys, and she talked about her 3 children, one of which has additional support needs, and is at the academy. We shared experiences of diagnosis and people’s reaction. It was lovely to just natter with somebody who while her sons needs differed from the boys, had experienced similar problems.
We washed up our cups just in time for the end of day bell. I was in trouble with D because by the time I got outside, he was already out, and he had panicked when he couldn’t find me. Luckily a Granny we usually walk home with had told him I wouldn’t be long. He still had the grumps with me though.
It was lovely to be a human adult, if just for an hour. I just hope the word gets out that this space is being given over to us the parents/carers, not just of additional needs kids but of all kids. Sometimes we all just need someone to talk to, and its even better when there is tea and biscuits to go with it!!