School Christmas Fayre


At the weekend was the school Christmas Fayre.    It is an important date on the school calendar.      Money raised goes to the Parent Staff Association, so helps with the extras in the children’s school life.

There is no question as to if the kids want to go to the event, it is a must attend.         When we woke up on Saturday morning and there was a dusting of snow on the grounds so the boys had to go and play in that first before we wandered up to the school.

The school was heaving when we did get there.       There were stalls in a number of classrooms and in the school hall.        We had to be logical in our tour of everything, visiting each room in turn.        The boys were really good at not I wanting everything, but we still ended up spending a small fortune.      They love the tombola’s – the kids got to donate chocolate or bottle for a chance to dress up at school last week.      At the bottle stall, D managed to win on each of his 3 tickets, but wasn’t happy that he won a bottle of beer, one of cider, and a floral bubble bath!     M got some hair oil!       I tried not to laugh too loudly!       We then moved on to the chocolate stall, and the only win came to Hubby, and it was chocolate I don’t like – I know its hard to believe there is chocolate I wont eat!           The boys then wanted slushies which they deserved for being so well-behaved.

It was then time to go and see the big man in red.     D was really excited to go and see him, but M was rather worried at the prospect.      I am so pleased that my boys do still believe.     I think it is really sad to think that many of their counterparts are already loosing their faith.       It almost makes me angry when M tells me that he is told Santa isn’t real, when he still is caught up in the magic.     D has a wonderful theory about Santa, and it is obviously something he has thought long and hard about.       He of course noticed that all the different Santa’s don’t look the same, and has questioned this many times.     My response to this is that the real Santa is very busy at this time of year and so all the pretend Santa’s report back to the big man.      He has been quite happy to accept this, until this year, when he announced why they report back.      They are of course all Elves trained by Santa, so they know exactly what they are doing – what questions to ask, and how to talk to children.    He was so adamant about this as he was explaining his theory that it makes total sense.      I am just happy he has found a way to continue to believe.     When they do question it, I refer them to the movie Rise of the Guardians because it basically says the magic only exists if you choose to believe.

Anyway, back to the visit to the big man.    D was really excited, and went in first.    He wanted to go by himself, but Hubby earwigged at the door to hear what he was asking for – he said a PS4, but luckily Santa told him it was a very expensive present and he had a lot of children to get things for!      When it was M’s turn he was very agitated and held my hand very tightly.     I went in with him, and he stood facing away from the very convincing looking Santa.       He answered him  when spoken to, but rather abruptly.      He asked for a 3DS with Pokémon – right answer as that’s what he’s getting!!!        Santa gave a small present – a chocolate selection box , and said goodbye.       It was really difficult for M to do it, but I think he did really well to face a fear and do it, because he still believes.

It was a lovely morning.   It is good to see the wider community come together.   It is also great to catch up with a lot of Mums that I only see at events like this.

I am really getting into the Christmas spirit now!!!!

School Assembly


I am of an age, where the school day always began with an assembly.       It was usually the headmaster droning on about something that you didn’t really care about, especially as your bum was freezing sitting on the hall floor!          We would then sing hymns, and file out to our cages, I mean classrooms for the rest of the day.     When I was at secondary school, it was a little different, as the school was so big, that we would have house assembly three mornings a week, and hall assembly, with one other house, twice a week.     It still wasn’t the most fun time of the day, but at least it gave you time to wake up before you had to switch your brains on at the start of the day!!!

At the boys school, they have assembly just once a week.     I am not sure it is time they really enjoy, but it is an important time to bond as a school, rather than just as your class, or year.     During the course of the year, each class takes the assembly.      It is their opportunity to inform the rest of the school about something that is important to them, or about the topic the class has been learning about.       It is also a chance for parents and carers to go in and see their little darlings, and get proud parent moments!

I used to hate having to go up in front of the school at any time – unless of course I was hiding behind a music stand because I was doing something I enjoyed and I could only see those on the stage with me.       I can therefore understand when both boys have said it is not something they enjoy doing.

Last week, was the turn of M’s class to talk to the school.    Their subject was about bullying – rather apt I felt considering what M is going through.        Each child was given bits to learn to say.      Every child was involved in some way.        M had to learn a line about reporting behaviour you think might be bullying, even if you are not sure – made me wonder if that had been chosen for him based on recent event.         He was very excited about the whole thing.     It was good to see his enthusiasm about being involved in it.       That is until the night before.     He got himself in such a state about it all, that I actually thought he was going to be sick.     He was totally panicked by the thought of going into school the next day.      He wanted cuddles, and was physically shaking at the prospect.        It is at times like this that your mind is racing trying to work out what is for the best.      Here is a child that is obviously in distress about it, do I tell him he doesn’t have to do it, or do I take a deep breath and try to sound confident that everything is going to be alright.        I chose the latter option.     While the easy thing to do would be to protect him from this situation, I am not sure that would really help him.    The only way you know if you can do something is to try to see what happens.    I am a great believer in the old adage that even if you fail, it is a learning experience so there is a positive in it.         He talked me through what would be happening during the assembly.    He had it all straight in his head.          I then asked him if he wanted me there – after all parents are allowed to attend.     He ummed and arrhed for a while and said no.     I was upset by this, as I would have loved to have seen him, but I respected his decision and could see that it was one less pressure for him.

The morning arrived – after a very long night, and he got himself organised.     They had to go into class early, as they were having a final check of things before the main event.     I wished him luck, and he was off.        I spent the morning wonder how he was getting on, and wishing I could have been there for him.     I had a message from another Mum, who said they had done brilliant, and all got through it.     I was totally relieved.

He wasn’t very talkative when he got home, so I didn’t push it.    I have learned that to pressurize him for information just buries it deeper and it takes long to surface.

The next day at the school, one of the teachers came up to me and told me how well M had spoken.      It was lovely to hear, especially as she is a teacher who neither boy has ever had – although she is one held in great respect by many with kids on the spectrum.     I felt really proud of my baby.      When the head then told me the same thing, I was beside myself.      She said she had expected me to be there, and I explained M had asked I stayed away.    She thought this a little odd, but I think she understood that it saved M so was a necessary thing.

I am really proud of him for overcoming his fears and allowing himself to do this.      Hopefully next time he will at least have this memory to think of, and know that while it might be painful at the time, it will be fine it the end.

Self Indulgent


I am sorry about my self indulgent moan yesterday.          I can say that letting out my negativity did help me, because it made me realise how insignificant my problems actually are.

We all have the right to feel fed up with our lot.    It is probably a thing I should allow myself a little more often so I don’t get to breaking point.       However, it is also important to put it all into perspective.

The world is a dire state at the moment and we need to remember that in the greater scheme of things feeling sorry for myself is nothing.

Every day there are people suffering life changing illnesses who cope with it with dignity.   These are the people that should be saying life isn’t fair.    Not me.

The killings in Paris last week, bought home to us how much hatred there is in the world.       I don’t think it is a case of us not caring about all the other deaths from terrorism this year, but Paris is right on our door step, so it makes it far more real.        With the world falling apart like this, we need to band together to show the world we care.   We owe the next generation a world that isn’t full of hatred, and we have to find some way of getting to that point.       Our thoughts should be with families all around the world who are really suffering because of the messed up state we find ourselves.

I suppose, I am feeling a little guilty for being so self obsessed at the moment.      I shouldn’t feel guilty for worrying about myself and my own first and foremost, but when looking at the bigger picture, my gripes are totally insignificant.

I started writing here as a means of allowing myself not to internally fester on things, and letting all that go yesterday, really did help.     It helped me put it into perspective.     Today I am far more positive and ready to face the world again.

To make this world a better place we need to start with ourselves, and then let the love seep outwards like ripples on a pond.